JOCKES...


Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.
Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?
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Son: Suraj
Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.

Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?
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Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!


Bada kab ho jaunga


Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.
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Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.


Husband’s poem on saali


**WARNING**
THIS IS NOT TRUE IN CASE OF EVERY SAALI. AND DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!
Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
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Saali is Pataka, Wife is BATAKA
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti – Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake , Wife is earth QUAKE
*Ek Dukhi Paati.*


Bahar ka mat khana

Ek bar ek ladka samosa ke bich ke aalu ko kha raha tha aur bahar ke hisse ko phek raha tha.
Dushra dost usse poochta hai ke tum samose ke sirf aalu ko kyun kha rahe hoo?
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Pehla: Doctor ne mujhe bahar ke chejo ko khane se mana kiya hai.


Andey aur bacche


Teacher: Zameen par rehne wali janwer bacche deti hai, Hawa mein urne wali andey deti hai!
Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mai bhi urti hai or bacche bhi deti hai??
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Student: “Air Hostess!”


Chuha marne ki dawa


Ek samay do bahut milne wale dost rahte thay. Lekin ek din ek dost ka maut ho gaya aur police investigate karne ke liye aaya aur uske dost ko sawal poochne laga…
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Police: “Tumhara dost kaise mara?”
Sardar: “Pata nahi sahab, woh bola mere pet mein chuhe kud rahe hai toh maine usko chuha marne ki dawa khila di.”


Teacher to a student: “Ess line ki english banao- Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.”
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Student – He done his work and done-dana-dan done-dana-dan.



Dad : The girl whom I showed you is roopvati, gunvati and dhanvati. So you should marry her.
Dad and son
Son : But the girl whom I love is roopvati, dhanvati and garbhvati so I must marry her.







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